07 . 12 . 2012
All employees are hereby notified that neither God nor any other god may countermand any of Director Fury’s orders, and especially not Loki or Thor. Furthermore, when “kiwi” and “boots” are used in the same sentence chances are it is not referring to the fruit. Boots being made to be “black and shiny” should not ever involve paint, electrical or duct tape, or latex. In addition, no agent should taunt any other agent of French decent, nor should any agent of French decent insinuate that any other agent’s parentage consists of rodents and berries.
Logan Howlett will be teaching a “Remedial Sarcasm, Jokes, and Workplace Humor” course thrice a week for the next three months. If you received an in-person visit informing you of your selection for the course, attendance is mandatory. Agent Wilson will not be attending, due to the obviously futility of trying to teach him any standards of behavior.